


I miss my home (and I haven't even left yet)

by sourpastels



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Future Fic, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 04:34:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5898442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sourpastels/pseuds/sourpastels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The problem with making your home in people instead of places is that people can leave.</p><p>AKA It's Neil Josten's fifth year at Palmetto state university and he's beginning to remember what it feels like to be alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I miss my home (and I haven't even left yet)

Neil pushed open the door to his dorm room but didn't step inside, leaning half his weight against the corridor wall with a heavy sigh instead. All of his muscles ached in protest, and he would have looked down to check his legs were still there if he could only gather the strength, but instead he just dropped his Exy racket against the wall beside him and thought that if he weren't so used to pain he may of just collapsed, but he knew that he could handle the burn of aching muscles when he had the burn of a dashboard lighter to compare it to.  
  
Practice had been tough lately, and it felt like so long since the days when he had pushed himself past his limits, not just for a game but because winning was the only way to survive and Exy was all he had. He knew that this was his own fault,to a degree, he was team captain after all, and not only had he been making training tougher and tougher each week as they approached the first game of the season , he'd picked up the habit of going out to the court in the middle of the night, something he'd mostly dropped not long after Kevin had graduated, except now he went out there alone with just his racket and the quiet of an empty court that felt less like home every time he stood there alone, and Neil was essentially just that...alone.  
  
This was his last year at Palmetto state, and his first year there without any of the team that had burst into his life and made him family. The kids that made up the Foxes now were good players, but that's all he could really say about most of them, he'd never bothered to grow close to any of them, why would he? He already had everyone he could ever need, and now they were gone. It wasn't like they'd abandoned him, even if it felt that way sometimes and the thought of it brought back the deep ache of loneliness that had been part of him so long yet he'd almost forgotten it. It had been a couple of months since the start of the year, and he'd heard from most of the team at least once.  
  
Matt called when he could, he'd talk about what was life was like on his pro team, mostly how big an adjustment it was from the foxes because there was far less infighting and no constant threat of death above their heads, he'd gush about Dan and the upcoming wedding, and he'd always not so subtly ask how Neil was dealing on his own, Neil always had to resist the urge to say he was fine. Dan text more than called, but she gave Neil updates about everyone which Neil carefully took note of and wrote down in his binder, now dedicated to the Foxes. Nicky skyped him at least once a week, and Neil accepted whenever he could, he'd ramble non-stop about Germany and Erik and eventually he'd bring up Andrew with even less subtlety than Matt had when he asked how Neil was doing. Neil evaded his questions, because Neil hadn't heard from Andrew since the day he graduated.  
  
Neil inhaled sharply, trying not to let his thoughts spiral in this direction again, and paused when the acrid smell of smoke hit his senses, he may be exhausted but he knew for a fact he didn't have a lit cigarette in his hand. That's when Neil remembered that he'd locked his door before heading to the court, but hadn't took his keys out of his pocket when he'd opened it. His eyes went wide, the usually comforting scent sending his mind immediately flooding with panic and desperate adrenaline that charged his body back to life despite the exhaustion in his limbs. He couldn't believe that it had taken him this long to notice that someone had broken in when it had been drilled into his very being for years to notice everything, to always keep an eye out for danger otherwise he'd dead before he even knew it.  
  
He finally stepped inside the room, eyes scanning it carefully for any sign of another person, he spent a second trying to convince himself that maybe it was just Robin, but she was just as obsessive about locking the door as he was. His mind flashed with everyone who might be out to get him, had Ichirou decided to go back on their deal? Maybe he had finally decided that it was too dangerous to let Neil live after all, or maybe one of his fathers people had survived and decided to come after Neil despite Nathan Wesninski being dead for years now. At this point Neil's hand was curled into a fist inside his pocket, ready to fight for his life, but then he saw a small figure with blonde hair curled up on his windowsill and his mind went completely blank, fist loosening in surprise.  
  
Andrew didn't give any sign that he'd even noticed Neil, he kept looking out the window, cigarette held loosely to his lips. Neil just stared, he didn't know how long he stood there waiting for Andrew to acknowledge him, but it was long enough that he began to wonder if he'd just tired himself out to the point that he'd started hallucinating, but then the other boy stubbed out his cigarette and turned to Neil with a bored expression that was so completely Andrew Minyard that Neil knew this was real. It had been months since he'd heard from Andrew, not even a single text message, and now here he was in Neil's dorm room as if he'd never left.  
  
Neil didn't know how to react now that his brain had stopped short circuiting out of surprise. He was angry that Andrew had just showed up here after months of complete silence, but that didn't win out against the feeling of that deep ache of loneliness inside him starting to ebb away, being taken over by a different feeling, one just as violent and crushing but so much better, just at the sight of him. He went back and forth silently for a minute, Andrew just looking at him with seemingly all the patience in the world and no interest in what Neil had to say, before Neil finally settled on an answer.  
  
“What are you doing here?” He asked, he wanted to say so much more but he left it at that simple question.  
“I got bored.” Andrew answered simply after a beat, as if he too had been debating the right thing to say.  
Neil huffed a laugh, slightly irritated but mostly unsurprised, he didn't know what other answer he'd been expecting.  
“And I'm interesting, right?” He replied, not really a question.  
Andrew just nodded once, expression unchanging.  
“But not interesting enough for you to speak to me the past few months, not even once?” Neil knew he sounded bitter, even angry, but right then he didn't care.  
“I had nothing interesting to say.” Andrew shot back.  
  
Andrew's expression changed there, not the full blown anger that Neil sometimes saw that made him believe that Andrew was ready to burn down the world the second it did him wrong again, but a softer anger that was just enough of a change for Neil to back down from this fight, because it showed that Andrew still felt something when it came to him, when it came to _this_. Neil let out a breath and stepped closer to Andrew, not close enough to touch him but close enough for that ache in his chest to loosen up just a little more.  
  
Andrew leaned over and his fingers curled around the back of Neil's neck, that tiny spark of emotion still showing in his hazel eyes and the tightness of his grip. Neil observed it closely, and he knew that it didn't mean “I'm sorry”, but that was okay because it meant so much more than that, it was everything that Andrew would never say.  
“Yes or No?” Andrew asked, still looking at Neil intensely.  
“Yes. It's always yes with you.” Neil replied, softer but equally insistent.  
  
Andrew leaned over and crushed his lips against Neil's, and Neil realised in that moment that he had almost forgotten the way Andrew kissed him and the way the feeling of Andrew's warm lips and thumping heart beat never failed to completely take Neil over until it felt like there was nothing but the two of them. Neil didn't know how long they stood there for, but by the time Andrew pulled back Neil's mouth was almost numb and his body was breathless.  
“I missed you.” He let slip before his brain caught up with his mouth.  
“I hate you.” Andrew answered, and he pulled Neil into another kiss.  
For the first time in months Neil didn't feel alone, he finally felt like he was home again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work in this fandom and it's really just me trying to figure out how to write these characters than anything else, but I decided to post it anyway and still hope you enjoy it. Any constructive criticism is welcome.
> 
> Hit me up on tumblr if you want (unidentified-flying-outrage)


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